I and the people who sit on my row spent the last month coming up with this.
It’s all meant in good fun, so don’t anybody get offended.
I’m starting from Day Twelve, mainly to save myself some typing time.

On the twelfth Day of Critmus, my true thug gave to me,
12 bastard children,
11 breaths a-stankin’,
10 butts a-bumpin’,
9 niggas runnin’,
8 crack rocks poppin’ (none of us have a history with crack, so we weren’t sure about this one. No one corrected us when we recited it this morning, so we assume we’re good on this one).
7 sluts a-swingin’,
6 pipes a-smokin’,
5 shots of jinn,
4 gold teeth,
3 bags of weed,
2 diamond studs,
And a new Ja-Rool CD.

Oh yeah, and this one’s openly trackbackable.

Taken from customerservant.com

I just came back from talking to the HR director.
I asked him if there are any other positions available in order to get out of this accessibility rut I’m in, and keep finding myself in.
He says there aren’t any in the local center, and that I can always apply for some other position in some other ConUs center, but that ConUs doesn’t relocate agents, so that would be my problem.
I’m supposed to talk to the upper management this afternoon.
Basically, I’m going to go back to the bigger management cubes, and then the upper manager here is going to call his boss, and we’re going to sit and talk about how the client doesn’t want to set up the mirror to the old interface, because that would cost too much money to maintain for two people, and we’ll be back at square one.
We’re going nowhere fast, and what worries me is that this will be used as an opportunity to tell me to have a nice day.
It’s definitely the path of least resistance, and right now I’m in the middle of a fight between two corporate whores who are more concerned about maximizing their profits, and could care less if one or two cube-dwellers get trampled underfoot because of something that was never their fault in the first place.
I’ve been yelling (figuratively) about this accessibility issue for the last three years, and it’s getting me nowhere, and looks like it may even signal the end of the line for me at this job.
Cary isn’t really helping matters.
He’s content to just follow the directives of his supervisor, take calls, then call the support team to do the work after clicking around awhile, and making the caller think he’s actually helping.
His justification is that they’ll monitor him eventually, see he’s screwing things up and then fire him, and then he’ll be out of the situation.
He’s taking it one day at a time, so that it doesn’t encroach on his sanity.
Whatever floats your boat.
Personally, I’m a fan of self-preservation.
I hate this job, but I can’t afford to lose it.
If I could afford it, I would have quit long ago.
So I’m interested in not only fixing the current crisis, but preventing future ones so that I can save myself future headaches.
I don’t think that’s too unreasonable.
I’d love to be able to just sit back, not worry about all this, and just wander aimlessly throughout life.
But in order to do that, I’d have to have no ambition, or even a desire to keep from slipping into the multitude of blind and visually impaired people who are unemployed.
As much as I hate my job, being unemployed is infinitely worse.
I detest having to rely on the charity of others, regardless of the level of sincerity.
It’s not that I wouldn’t be appreciative, and it’s not that I think people are incapable of giving wholeheartedly.
At this point in my life, I want to be able to provide for myself, without undue stress, and without having to worry about whether or not my livelihood is going to be jeopardized by some company’s pet technological abortion that lived.
Is that really too much to ask?

Taken from customerservant.com

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.
I haven’t done much over the last week except work, and that’s been a total disaster.
It was OK the first part of the week, (excluding all the system problems, and rude callers and administrative crap that’s the usual fair), and I even had a funny call, from some guy who wanted to know if he could donate his medications to someone else because he was no longer taking them and didn’t tell us before we sent him the order.
Of course, I told him he couldn’t.
Absolutely nothing’s happened on the accessibility front, which tells me everybody who’s been promoted according to the level of their incompetence feels that they’ve fixed the problem.
Not good.
On top of all the system lock-ups, Jaws crashes, and screens that aren’t accessible to begin with, yet another problem has surfaced.
Since Thursday morning, it now takes my system literally twenty minutes to start.
There’s a start-up script (actually a series of them) that runs every time we log on to our systems.
One of them in particular has started taking a very long time to run.
I’ve reported it several times, with no result, except that I’ve been suspected of extreme work avoidance, (at least three hours worth for Thursday alone), and generally brushed off, as if everybody’s annoyed because there’s yet another problem developing around the blind person.
Here lately I feel like all I manage to do is cause problems, mixed in with the little bit (compared to everyone else) of money I manage to bring in for the company and the client.
All I seem to be doing is adding to everybody’s problems, and since I don’t have any solutions that are immediate and don’t require any work, it’s somehow my fault.
And there’s no end in site.
We’re due for another upgrade of the database interface in a couple of days, and by January, I’m expected to utilize certain features that come with the new upgrade that aren’t available in the old version of the interface.
It doesn’t matter whether or not any of this has to be as difficult as it is.
The simple fact is that it’s being made difficult, therefore it is.
I’m finding it really hard to keep a sense of humor throughout all this.
All of this is way past the point of ridiculous, and the worst part about it all is that there’s nothing I can do about it.
They say they’re supposed to have the surf control crap fixed sometime this week, so hopefully I’ll be able to post and check my email from work again.
I also hope to post more frequently.

Taken from customerservant.com

The following is a paraphrase of a TKS correction form (for those who don’t know, we have to submit TKS correction forms whenever our TKS log-in and phone log-in do not match) submitted by one of my co-workers.
I was standing there when it was delivered and explained.
Co-worker: “I’m sorry I clocked in late, but I ate breakfast at Burger King this morning and it tore me up.”
Note To Self: Having to go to the bathroom due to an impending warp core breach is not a valid reason for being late, nor will you get paid for the time you spend in said bathroom.
Nobody told you to eat at Burger King.
That having been said, I’m sure your collon appreciated you after that.

Taken from customerservant.com