So you see everyone playing Pokémon Go, and you’ve decided that you, too, would like to catch ’em all. On the other hand, you’re American, so you’re left crying out “Can’t someone else do it?” Well good news: Someone can, and her name is Ivy St Ive, professional Pokémon Go trainer. The bad news? It’ll run you $20/hour to get her services.
St Ive began advertising her services on Craigslist this afternoon, and gave her bonafides as follows: a huge Golbat tattoo, a history of playing Pokémon since 1997, and her ranking as a Level 15 trainer in Pokémon Go. St Ive is offering to “walk around in 1-4 hour shifts signed in to your account capturing every single Pokémon I come into contact with, activating every Poke Stop I pass and walking nonstop to help hatch your eggs,” all for $20/hour. She also said that she’d be willing to send hourly updates to clients, as well as provide training, gym and battle tips, if they’re requested.


Part of me wants to congratulate this woman because, in a way, this is sheer genius. There are a bunch of desperate people who really want to play Pokémon Go, and, where there is demand or perceived need, there’s always money to be made. Simple economics. If someone wants to try to take advantage, and make some dough on the side, go for it. But on the other hand, this is totally fucked up. what’s even more fucked up about it is that there are lots of people who will probably pay for this.
And remember, these people vote.


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